Anecdote of a Teenager:
Anecdote of a Teenager
Throughout this website, we have highlighted multiple pressures and problems faced by teenagers through numerous sources in various aspects of their life but in this interview, an anecdote by a teenager of one school Aparna, brings to light a, sadly, common situation which is present universally; domestic violence
Note: The name of the teenager has been changed.
- Describe your current situation.
I have been lucky enough to not have had to face peer pressure, bullying, things like that. I have always kept to myself and have a no-nonsense attitude towards things. The problem that I do have is family related and that is basically characterised by long periods of depression, that I have been facing since I was eleven years old, which was the first time my father physically assaulted me. In the last five years, he has assaulted me three times. My mother has been assaulted in my presence. Fortunately, my sister, being young, has escaped my father's wrath. - Where do you think his anger stems from?
My father lost his parents at a very young and fragile age, when he was in his teens. This was hard on him because he was solely responsible for bringing up five of his brothers. There was a lot of fear and uncertainty involved. He comes from an environment where the only way he has learnt to deal with people is through fear and intimidation. And that’s how he deals with us. If there’s something that I do that he doesn’t like, his only response to it is anger - How has your experience changed or impacted your view on relationships?
My father, frankly, doesn’t know how to love. So I don’t know how to love because my parents have had a tumultuous marriage. It has definitely impacted the way I approach relationships. I have started to look at relationships in a third-person perspective, in a sense that, if I hold someone very dear to my heart and, due to some reason, something happened thereby creating a rift in the relationship, I will never be the one to come up and make things right, which is strange, but it is what it is. A father is the only man you can trust implicitly, as a girl. and if i can’t feel safe around him, why would I ever let any other person, man or woman, get close to me, emotionally? - Have you ever had to make compromises because of this?
I have had to make multiple compromises, definitely. In fact, recently, things came to a head when the assault became too much to handle. My mom is contemplating filing a case against him under the Domestic Violence Act. But the problem is that is a very vengeful man. so I fear for our safety. And if I give a statement, it would obviously mean that he would cut us off, which is fine. We don’t need his money. But the thing is, I’ve had these dreams of going abroad to study and then settling there. But now I’m going to have to compromise on my dream. I’ll have to do my bachelors here and then fund my own masters and go ahead and do it abroad - How has this impacted you, emotionally and mentally?
Fortunately, I’ve taken it in good stead. There was no feeling of being a victim. At no point have I felt I deserved it or that he is right or that he has any power over me. It has just become a part of this simmering wart of negativity. I have had three episodes, where I have broken down in regard to this, because, frankly, I’m not fond of of making my emotions evident to anyone - How has this impacted the rest of your family?
These episodes have been hard on my mom and my sister, especially my sister because she sees me as a headstrong person who rarely, if ever, gets unnerved. So when she sees me upset, it kills her because she can’t fathom the idea of me being upset. I’ve shouted and taken out my anger on my mom, blaming her for marrying a man she barely knew. I know I’m wrong in doing so because blaming her is not going to get me anywhere. Blaming my grandparents or the world is, ultimately, futile. There is a healthy and an unhealthy way to handle this situation and I plan to handle it in the healthiest way possible.